I was born December 17, 1959 and was immediately adopted into in a very conservative Mormon family; one where religion was taught daily, but spirituality was not. My spiritual gift from God was . . . let's say, not approved of in my mother's eyes and certainly not in the Mormon church. In the churches mind, only males are gifted with God's spiritual gifts, through appointing them the "priesthood" title, where the same offering has never been given to females.

When I was young, I could hear words being said in my mind that someone was about to speak, before they spoke them, which was great as I knew what was going to be said. I noticed I was able to do this at will, no effort at all, it would just happen. I thought everyone had this happening to them and figured this is how life was, a normal way of hearing things. It became clear to me, after I would ask time and time again, did you hear this or that? and I was told no . . . that's weird, did I began to realize, maybe this is not for everyone. Growing up, I would often hear my mother Darlene say at social and family gatherings, "Karen's different, she has a very active imagination, she says she hears words being said before someone speaks them and I often catch her talking to and answering herself." I feel since my mother could not explain "me" to others, it was easier to just say I was different. It was probably more than my mother was able to comprehend at that time in hers and my life. I was different and unusual, spending many hours happily alone in my bedroom, listening to God, staring out the window longing for "Home" and watching loving faces appear on the ceiling, that didn't frightened me. As the years passed, I saw how my "truth" affected people. And as a young girl, with my loneliness at an all time high, I decided to conform into what I felt was the best way to be. This way, I thought for sure I would have acceptance in my life. So at the age of about 11, I let my gift from God go, shut the door to hearing him, not knowing at that time my spiritual gifts would reappear with a reopening that would change my life forever.

In February of 1996, a new chapter of my life was beginning to form. This chapter would take me on a personal journey of self-awareness, one I had longed to travel for many years. After a 15 year long search, I was reunited my birth father Chuck and 4 of my 6 birth siblings. I learned from the family, that I was fourth in line of seven children born. This was so great to hear, being raised with only one sibling, my brother Kevin (also adopted), I had often secretly wished for more brothers and sisters in my life. I was thrilled to hear how many siblings I now had to love and cherish (Michael, Lynn, Sherry, Tony, Shawn, Troy along with Kevin); I was truly blessed. What a joyous occasion it was to know of my ancestral and spiritual roots. What was to come from this family reunion was many things, as well as the knowledge that I had come from a family of intuitives, starting with my birth maternal grandmother, Marie. Weeks after the family reunion, it seemed the word "psychic or intuitive" became my personal quest to grasp the idea of such things and gain understand of it's meaning in my life.

I began to read all I could on spiritual matters. Book after book such as, psychic development, life after death, learning to channel, reincarnation and books on angels such as, "The Wisdom and Teachings of Archangel Michael" by Lori Flory and "The Messengers." by Nick Bunick. Through all of my reading, I quickly became aware of a new way in thinking about God and life. During this time of discovery, I recognized that there are many spiritual thoughts and paths that lead one back to God, many ways to perceive his love and messages for us. My thinking about God was now not only coming from my seasoned upbringing in religion, it was as well expanding to include spiritual matters, and new insights about God. It allowed me to see different views and opportunities of creating a close bond with God and Heaven. I learned through many of the books that, God, our Creator was not only there to send our prayers to, but it was our divine inherited right to "hear" him speak to us in return. As I researched a particular book entitled "Angelspeake: How To Talk With Your Angels" by Barbara Mark and Trudy Griswold, memories about my childhood gift of hearing began to resurface. In this particular book, I learned that my "hearing" as a child was actually called clairaudience and I became very determined to reopen this gift. I sincerely wanted to recapture what I had let go so many years prior. Throughout 1996 and well into 1997, I continued enlightening myself on spiritual matters and psychic phenomenon and what came from this journey, I can only describe as a true miracle from God.

In March 1997, I came across a "Ouija" like Angel Board which I was thrilled to obtain. Though each time I used it, as beautiful as it was, I always felt a sense of fear. I sensed the fear was connected to years of being told in church, that the Devil was always trying to get us "good" ones and that he was behind and personally operated such things as a "Ouija" board. I remember stating, I am an adult now and I can make up my own mind and I would discount everything I had previously heard. As I continued to use the Angel board, I noticed my gift of hearing was returning, stronger and clearer each time. Through all of the excitement, I still couldn't understand my uneasiness, after all, there were Angels painted on this board, so it had to be safe. The words often started out kind, loving, but they eventually would turn to hurtful and the word Devil or Satan would spell out. This would have me think, was the Devil speaking to me, which then created more fear within me. This would happen time and time again, and a lot of frustration and anger started to well up inside of me, why wasn't I able to hear God or the Angels? I felt those beings interrupting me and overshadowing my experience. How could that be when I was praying, asking for God's help and blessing. Was the Mormon churches view on such things right? Could there be a Devil presence overtaking the Angel board experience and stopping me from God? I couldn't figure out what was really stopping me from having a dialogue with the Angels, what was I to truly understand?

As time went on, I ignored the message "stop and meditate" that was spelled out to me each time I used the Angel board. Finally I asked, who is speaking? and to my amazement, the words, It is I, I am Archangel Michael. As Michael spoke, I realized, I could hear him without the Angel board, so I began to write down what I heard. Archangel Michael told me to pray and meditate, as the Angel board was not my higher soul's intention of how to fully reopen my spiritual gifts. He said my higher soul's intention was to clear my fears FIRST and if I didn't, my experience on the Angel board would not change. Archangel Michael said that I was depending upon a source outside of myself to bring me the answers I was longing for. He said that prayer and meditation would bring awareness into my heart, where all the answers to my questions resided. I did not listen, feeling that I knew best, I continued pursuing this quest day after day, which turned into weeks and then months of consulting the Angel board for answers, with the same results again and again. I thought maybe if I let the Angel board go and just write what I hear things will be different; nothing changed. I kept hoping one day everything would somehow change and that I would hear only loving encouragement--but this never seemed to become my experience, just as Archangel Michael said would happen.

Through my frustrations with the Angel board, Michael said I was channeling dark beings into my home who resonated with my fears and those who received great satisfaction in feeding upon my deepest fears. I couldn't believe Archangel Michael's words, I thought I had let my deep feelings of fear go. He said on the surface it appeared as though I had let them go, but not completely. Archangel Michael said the Angel board, was helping me to reopening my spiritual hearing yes, while simultaneously hearing my soul's inner fears. I was hearing this lifetime's fears and paranoia, as well as memories of persecution from other lifetimes. All had been programmed within me long ago, and were now being brought to the surface. Michael said my anger and frustration about the Angel board, only intensified the lower beings presence, which in turn aggravated my own fears. What had I done to myself, my home, my family? What was seemingly taking over my life? I felt I was spinning in a vortex of heavy energy, unable to see the top. I spiraled down further into fear, I was afraid to hear anything--I felt broken, spiritually broken. I finally realized that if I had taken Archangel Michael's continual messages to meditate seriously, I would have created peace within me, that would assure a stable, solid connection with God.

I had been warned--I had been told many times to let go and meditate. What transpired from all of this is what I call, walking through the fire backwards or "The Dark Night of the Soul". On October 22, 1997, my world as I knew it came crashing in. I was home alone with my son Taylor, (who was 5 at the time) and no matter what I did, I could not "turn off" my "hearing". I was being bombarded by dark beings all around me, tormenting me, taunting me, speaking frightening things to me, telling me that my son Taylor was going to die and that everything I knew about God was a lie. I was frozen, not able to move as I watched large dark clouds moving throughout my home. I was terrified, petrified, horrified through it all and in that moment, I was truly playing out all of my own fears--not through the Angel board this time, but in real life. I felt there was no where to turn, I had opened a door that I could not handle and an experience I could not explain. As my anxiety and fear accelerated, I started to feel a strong painful sensation on my chest, a lot of heaviness and hardly being able to breathe. I felt my left arm begin to go numb and my shoulder begin to freeze up as my chest felt heavier and heavier with incredible pain. I instantly heard the words "heart attack" in my mind and I called out to God, "Please God don't let me die, I don't want to die, I want to live." Immediately, I felt instant relief, my chest did not hurt, the heaviness left me, my arm was no longer numb, I knew God had performed a miracle on me. I heard a powerful voice state loud and clear, "Karen walk outside, look up and you will see us". I told Taylor, I was going outside for a few moments and I would be right back. Even with my fear of seeing something scary, I did not hesitate to go outside and do what I had been asked. I walked outside and through all of my inner fears, looked up into the sky, seeing only Angels covering the autumn day. There was no sun, there was no blue sky, no clouds, only pure white angels, as far and as wide as I could see. First my eyes began to vibrate, then my whole body and I could see the Angels were vibrating too. The Angels were clear, translucent, three dimensional and I knew what I was seeing was not my imagination, it was God at his best. They spoke to me and told me not to be afraid--that they were there to help me heal my fears and that they loved me. As I continued to look into the Heavens, I heard them say in a collective voice, that I would help teach others that they, the Angels are real, and are loving creations of God here to assist us while on Earth. They told me, when you see one Angel, know that there are many more behind us, supporting, assisting and loving me and that I was never alone. As quickly as my experience began with the Angels--it was then over. My body stopped vibrating, the sky became blue again, the clouds where fluffy white and the sun was shining it's golden hue on the day. All was back to normal, or what I perceived as normal.

A few days later, it was very clear that I was unable to get a handle on what had happened to me. With my spiritual ears wide open--it became so overwhelming. I was hearing everything, everyone's thoughts, good or bad, everyone's Angels, everyone fears--it was all just too much for me. What resulted from this was a complete mental/physical/spiritual meltdown. I was then admitted into a psychiatric hospital for "observation" on October 25, 1997, to recuperate from what doctors had diagnosed as a classic mental breakdown. Soon after my arrival, I was given a heavy dose of medicine to "calm" me down, and what the staff said, to stop me "hearing" things. With the effects of the medicine, my hearing did calm down, but in place my "vision" became quite clear. A sensation of energy began to buzz around me and I saw the Angels working on my body, pulling what I could only describe as dark balls of light from me, which they explained were fears from this lifetime and those carried over from past lifetimes. I saw Angels all around me, helping me, just as they said they would be. I looked around the hospital at others--Angels were at their side too, helping, supporting and loving them. The Angels said that many (not all) of the patients there were not "mentally broken" at all, they were actually spiritually gifted. They were not equipped to handle or integrate their gift into life, just as I was and they were scared just as I had been. I began to understand a bit more about myself and others there. For the first time in a very long time--things began to make sense to me--I was beginning to have a sense or an understanding of what had possibly happened to me.

With the side effects of the psychotic medicine peaking in my system, I was becoming very tired and I needed to rest--so I was taken to a room. As I laid in the darkened room, completely numb from the medicine, I began to see a bright white light fill the room. I said out loud, Oh God . . . if this is the white light people see before they die--please let me go to Heaven and not Hell. I am sorry for anything that I've done wrong in these last months that brought the dark beings around me. I should be punished since I did not listen to Archangel Michael--but I'm asking for forgiveness and a "death bed reprieve" so I can make everything right with God. The room continued to get brighter and I could feel two loving beings step into the room. The first person I recognized was my precious Dad Gordon, who had passed away in 1995. This man, my adoptive father, did not believe in a God, an afterlife or even in Heaven--and here he was, in my room, fully encased in white light--I was stunned, but very happy to see him. He stood at the head of the bed as a guardian, smiling at me and sending me love, but not speaking a single word. The next being was beloved Jesus, his incredible light was bright gold and his presence was strong, loving and commanding. He began to speak, saying how loved I was by God and all of Heaven. He said my soul was as bright as the noonday sun and if I'd chosen to pass over a few days earlier while experiencing the heart attack, the only place I belonged was in God's loving arms in Heaven. He told me I was not going to die, I had chosen to live and restore the missing pieces of my soul. He said everything was going to be okay--my family was going to be okay and this was now over. Jesus told me that the dark beings in this experience "The Dark Night of the Soul" had been called to me with specific messages. Their messages were simple . . . One, to remind me that there is truly nothing to fear, keeping my thoughts on God clears any fear . . . And two, that no one can harm another being without one's approval or acceptance on some level. This shocked me, I was shocked to learn I had agreed and accepted this type of torment, was I crazy to have said yes to that?

I was astonished to hear this, that I had agreed to something so overwhelming and who were these dark beings who "supposedly" helped me. Am I to believe that they cared enough about me to help me through my fears? Jesus looked at me lovingly and said it was not the same type of caring that I was familiar with. He said, these beings, as hard as it may be for me to understand, were there on "assignment" to help bring awareness to me-- about me. He said everything created, has been created in love, the one loving source--which is God. All souls have within them light and darkness, which is a duality of the soul. Whether a soul experiences things through their light or their darkness--all is under God's umbrella of truth. Jesus said, there is a great purpose of duality in all things, in every situation. We cannot have light without darkness and darkness without light, both are needed and both are perfect in God's eyes. He said the statement, "The Darkside of the Moon"--is a great example of one's duality of their soul. Jesus reminded me that when I was small--I was taught to fear darkness, to fear a being (Devil) that I was told would harm me--and historically had been said to have separated himself from God. Jesus pointed out, there's nothing separate from God, as God is in all things. Though God's children can and often do, separate themselves from his Love--which over time, feels like a separation.  He said, as a young girl I learned that if I allowed my "dark side" to show instead of my light--I was then considered bad and an unworthy being in God's eyes. Jesus said these mistakes I'd been taught had kept me "in line" for years, for fear of loosing something with God. He said mistakes are made when we're told, that the only way to receive God's love and blessings is to remain in our light and never venture into our darkness--which in man's Earthly view is considered a sin against God.  Jesus explained once a being feels they've done something against God i.e., "evil or bad" they often close off their heart to love, God's love, in feeling unworthy.  This had me thinking about when I first was admitted into the hospital and saw the white light and I felt I was going to die.  I was afraid that I had done God wrong by not listening and felt I was not going to receive to forgiveness or even accepted by God home in Heaven.  Jesus said, feelings of my own worth immediately closed up and I closed the connection (on my end) to God.  I thought, if God is in all things--then he is there too in our darkness--we are then never without him or his love. And in that moment, Jesus spoke a profound statement which I often repeat today.  Jesus said, "Karen there is no right or wrong--only experiences for your a soul's progression and spiritual awareness.

Jesus pointed out that it was my fears, anger, pain, frustrations, emotions that I'd not allowed myself to feel, was actually being released. Jesus reminded me of the unkind words spelled out on the Angel board, which I had been appalled to hear, were actually mine, not another's words.  All of the dark feelings that surfaced within me, resided within these beings too--we were acting as a mirror for one another. Jesus continued to say that all I went through did not need to be so intense. If I had listened and followed Archangel Michael's guidance, things would have turned out differently. If I had meditated as I was told, I would have opened my heart to God first, before my hearing. It was my higher soul's intention to clear all of my fears and suppressed feelings, or I would "hear" these feelings that were trapped in me--and for the first time, I was starting to really understand. Jesus said that Love is the only thing that is real, tangible which comes from the heart, and everything else is an illusion, created by fear which comes from our egos. Jesus said to always remember who I am, a powerful being created in his pure love. And if I kept this message alive in my heart and remember who is with me at all times--I would never feel any fear again. I listened to Jesus intently and felt his loving comfort and great understanding of what I had gone through, his presence then and still is a great source of loving comfort in my life.

As Jesus was finishing speaking, I could feel the room begin to shift, an enormous white light began to fill the room. There was no form, no face, only light and an incredible loving power, I instantly knew this was Father God. It was hard for me to believe that God would come to me--especially since I had not listened and allowed myself to be tormented. God called me by name and as he spoke to me, I felt a surge of love come through me, something I had not felt for a very long time--I felt completely unconditionally loved. God said I had been told all my life how to honor him, know him, praise him and yes even how to love him. Now the time had come for me to establish my own way of knowing him. God said what I had been taught since I was young about a Devil or Satan existing, was based on fear created by man and no such being existed. He said the being known as Lucifer, the one for years I'd been taught to fear, was a being created in pure love and light just as I was--and for me never to have another thought about being pursued by anyone. Especially those who would choose to "walk" through their experiences in darkness instead of light. God said the gift of free will gives a soul the opportunity to expand their awareness and experience their souls work through their darkness, or their light--and all is under God's loving command. God stated I had also been misinformed in the reference to a "Hell", he said, no such physical place existed. God pointed out that we, his children, could create our own form of "Hell" quite easily couldn't we and what I had personally been through the last few days and months, wasn't I in a state of "Hell", trapped in feelings of torment?

All of God's insights to me were loving and reassuring and making great sense--even through my drugged state of consciousness at the time.  I asked God, "How will I remember all of this information?"  He said, my heart is where all messages, insights and information are stored--and by going into meditation, I could easily retrieve anything, remember all.  God's parting words to me were . . . "My Beloved Karen, through this whole experience, you were never in any danger, as you are always protected--I continually have a "watchful" eye over you dear one. Do understand all who participated in the experience, did this with yours and as well my approval--as I do oversee all.  Spiritual growing pains can be all consuming and often confusing, leading one to feelings of personal disconnection. Now is the time to reclaim all of the shattered pieces of yourself left behind, all you have denied to your heart and begin to cherish yourself. Though it may not seem so now, great learning was done and soon all will become clear. Do meet me in your heart daily, through quiet meditation. I will be there loving you, supporting you and cheering for you. Remember Karen . . . you do not need to "earn" my love--it is an eternal gift for you child".  As my time with God, Jesus and my Dad was coming to a close, the room began to fade back into darkness and I felt a great sense of peace; and in that moment, I knew I would be fine.

Several months passed by as I searched and searched for answers. Looking through books, going to psychics, talking with leaders of different churches and religious practices, trying to find answers. No one could provide for me a complete explanation of what had happened, I felt so lost and confused.  It was when I surrendered, I finally gave up and said forget it, that I was given my greatest answers. It happened one evening when my husband and I decided go out for coffee and found ourselves at a Barnes and Noble's bookstore checking out the latest in books. I wandered into the Self-Help/Inspirational section as I had so many times before, and as I was looking through the books, a soft pink book fell off the shelf at my feet. I thought, well, I do live in Southern California and earthquakes happen here all the time, this book must have fallen off the shelf from earth movement, it couldn't be for me; so I stepped over the book and continued on my way. Just before we left the bookstore, I happened to glance down the isle that I had been on earlier and there laid that pink book that I had stepped over earlier. I thought, I had better place that back where it belongs and as I picked up the book, to my complete amazement, it began to vibrate. I was stunned, it was vibrating just like my body had that day so many months before when I had encountered the Angels. I was thrilled, I couldn't believe it, the book read "Angel Therapy" by Dr. Doreen Virtue. I instantly knew this book was for me, I felt Doreen had the long awaited answers I was looking for. I quickly bought the book in spite of my husband's very concerned look in his eyes and his anxiety filled remarks "Karen, are you sure you want to get involved again with this stuff? Don't you remember what happened before? I threw everything out while you were in the hospital remember, all your books, the Angel board--are you sure you want to start this up again? I understood my husband's extreme concern and I truly respected his feelings--but, I couldn't let this book go.  In this book, I knew there was something meaningful and what I needed. I bought the book that evening and read it in two days, absorbing each word as if it was written just for me. Doreen's channeled words from Archangel Michael and the Angels, brought me such peace and a greater understanding of what I had experienced and how to create sacred space to communicate with my Angels.   And of course, just as Archangel Michael stated, the process does include plenty of meditation time to receive.  Doreen has channeled from the Angels many wonderful books in addition to "Angel Therapy", each carrying loving messages of hope and love. 

I continued healing through daily meditation and praying, feeling a deeper and deeper sense of peace.  One particular meditation day, I saw an eagle begin to fly to me and as he came nearer--I saw it was Jesus!  Jesus said he was very pleased with my meditation time and now the time had arrived for me to learn something new. I told him I had pondered for months about what contribution I could give--since the Angels had told me I would help teach people, but how? He reminded me of an intuitive reading I had many months earlier with a well known psychic, Patricia Mischell from Cincinatti Ohio. Patricia told me that Archangel Raphael was at my side and had been since birth--and he told her I was a Healer.  Archangel Raphael kept showing her my hands, saying that I had healing hands and that I needed to use them. I needed to learn a healing modality where I understood energy--what's my own energy and what is someone else's. Archangel Raphael said I needed to learn how to ground my energy into the Earth--I often would lift up out of my body and this would leave me feeling unbalanced.   Oh my, I had forgotten about that intuitive reading and all that information--I thought how could I have forgotten about it.  Jesus smiled at me and told me to be patient, my opportunity was coming! 

Just a week later, I was thumbing through a local newspaper and my eyes caught an advertisement for a massage therapy certification course. I thought this it--this is what Jesus was talking about. June 6, 1998, I signed up for the class and once again, just like at the hospital--the name "Karen" became part of my continued healing. My instructor Karen Halcyon said we were the chosen ones for this particular class, as this would be her last class to teach in this area. Karen had decided to move on from the area, it was time--she had been teaching here for 20 years. Karen said before she left, she needed to have one last massage certification class. In this class I learned not only about therapeutic massage therapy, but also energy, grounding, discernment of what's my energy and a clients--it was a dream come true. On our graduation day, Karen explained many "add on" healing therapies we could learn that would enhance our massage work. She began to explain energy work and asked us to rub our hands together very briskly and then hold hands with the person next to you. She asked us to close our eyes, and let the energy begin to pass through you in whatever manner it was to work. Karen sat next to me and as I closed my eyes, I briskly rubbed my hands together--they instantly got extremely hot and began to buzz. I didn't think anything of it and I held hands with Karen on my right and another student on my left--I could feel the energy begin to pass through me it was intense and unusual, but I went with it. When we were done, Karen said to me, "Karen can I talk to you for a moment"--I thought oh no, I did it wrong! Karen looked into my eyes and said, "Karen, clearly this is the field where you need to be in. Your definitely a healer and you might want to take your healing abilities to another level--it would be great to learn an "add on" healing therapy okay?" and then she hugged me and went back to the class. I began my massage career as an "Out call" therapist in my home town, truly thriving and feel a sense of great of worth. All along being open to the perfect "add on" therapy as Karen talked about.  

In January of 2000, once again I found myself thumbing through a newspaper. This time the newspaper was from The Learning Annex in Los Angeles. As I looked through each page, my eyes caught the description of a certain class "Reconnection" energy healing with Dr. Eric Scott Pearl. I immediately knew this was the "add on" therapy Karen had talked about for me. I signed up for the class and anxiously awaited my time to learn from Dr. Pearl.  In March of 2000, the class day arrived. I pulled into the parking lot of the Radisson Hotel, dragging behind me my massage table. There in the parking lot, I met for the first time beautiful Mary who was attending the same "Reconnection" seminar. What transpired from Mary's and my meeting was a "reconnection" of our own, a recognition of two souls from the same soul family tree, together once again. We learned about energy, reconnecting oneself, removing energetic debris from another and so on. The whole weekend was exciting, fulfilling and very moving.  I shared with Mary during that weekend what I had traveled through the last couple of years and to my amazement, she told me her sister Christine had a similar experience.  Mary said Christine would be coming out to California for a visit in two weeks, would I like to meet her and share what happened to me? I met precious Christine and just as I did with Mary, that I "knew" her right away. I felt very comfortable with her instantly and shared my experience with her, knowing she would completely understand. Christine recommended Debbie Ford's book, "Dark Side of the Light Chasers" and told me that there would be solid confirmations in this book for me. This book turned out to validate many things that had been told to me by Jesus and God regarding one's darkness and what does happen if we suppress or deny it. What a Godsend this book was, it explained in great detail about our dark side and how many feel it's inappropriate to express through it. Today, I no longer suppress my dark side--and I don't berate myself when I have less than loving thoughts about myself, someone or something. I don't allow my darkside to harm anyone, this includes myself and I live by the motto, "First do no harm . . . this includes myself" and I'll mutter, "Well Karen, if that's how you feel, then that's how you feel . . . . and in this moment, I love and approve of myself no matter what." 

In November of 2000, Mary, Christine and I attended Doreen Virtue's week long Angel Therapy Practitioner (ATPTM) course, which helped me tremendously to continue healing along on my journey. I learned during that week, powerful tools and great knowledge to help me heal a lifetime or lifetimes of patterns, self-sabotaging thoughts and deep paranoia and fears. Today, in my private spiritual practice, I am blessed to help others heal on many levels as I had, just like the Angels said I would--this is another God miracle in my life. My daily communication with the Angels is the best gift I could have ever imagine in my life. A precious gift where I know at all times, I have a protector, a counselor, a comforter and a cherished friend at my side. I feel within me such peace, joy and great delight to hand messages to clients who come to me searching as I was so long ago, for the connection between Heaven and Earth.